Size guide
| T-SHIRT UNISEX HEAVY COTTON TEE | ||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Measurements | S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL |
| Width, in | 18.00 | 20.00 | 22.00 | 24.00 | 26.00 | 28.00 |
| Length, in | 28.00 | 29.00 | 30.00 | 31.00 | 32.00 | 33.00 |
| Sleeve length | 15.10 | 16.50 | 18.00 | 19.50 | 21.00 | 22.40 |
| Tolerance | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |
| UNISEX HOODIE | ||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Measurements | S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL |
| Width, in | 20.08 | 22.05 | 24.02 | 25.98 | 27.99 | 29.92 |
| Length, in | 27.17 | 27.95 | 29.13 | 29.92 | 31.10 | 31.89 |
| Sleeve length | 33.50 | 34.50 | 35.50 | 36.50 | 37.50 | 38.50 |
| Tolerance | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |
| UNISEX CREWNECK SWEATSHIRT | ||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Measurements | S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL |
| Width, in | 20.00 | 22.01 | 24.00 | 26.00 | 28.00 | 30.00 |
| Length, in | 27.00 | 28.00 | 29.00 | 30.00 | 31.00 | 32.00 |
| Sleeve length | 33.50 | 34.50 | 35.50 | 36.50 | 37.50 | 38.50 |
| Tolerance | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |
| UNISEX JERSEY TANK TOP | |||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Measurements | S | M | L | XL | 2XL |
| Width, in | 18.23 | 20.24 | 22.24 | 24.25 | 26.22 |
| Length, in | 26.97 | 27.99 | 28.98 | 30.00 | 30.98 |
| Arm opening | 10.12 | 10.75 | 11.63 | 12.50 | 13.37 |
| Tolerance | 1.00 | 1.00 | 1.00 | 1.00 | 1.00 |
The Ultimate Badge of Honor for the Master of the Crust

There is a certain undeniable confidence that comes with knowing you’ve mastered the art of the perfect crust. When you step into the kitchen or fire up the backyard stone oven, you aren’t just preparing a meal; you are performing a craft that spans generations. This Guy Makes The Best Pizza Retro Distressed T-Shirt captures that specific brand of culinary swagger with a vibe that is both nostalgic and authoritative. It’s designed for the man who doesn’t just follow a recipe but understands the soul of the dough. The distressed aesthetic suggests a seasoned expertise—like a well-worn cookbook or a favorite cast-iron pan—making it clear to everyone in the room that when it comes to tomato sauce, mozzarella, and heat, you are the undisputed champion. Whether you are a professional pizzaiolo or a weekend warrior of the wood-fired grill, this shirt serves as your unofficial uniform and a conversation starter that celebrates your passion for the world’s most beloved food.
To ensure that your focus remains on the perfect rise of your dough rather than the discomfort of your clothing, we have prioritized high-level craftsmanship in every stitch. This garment is constructed from a premium cotton and soft blend that offers a luxurious feel against the skin while maintaining the durability needed for a busy kitchen environment. The fabric is chosen for its breathability, which is essential when you’re standing over a 500-degree oven or managing multiple toppings under pressure. Unlike standard stiff fabrics, this soft blend moves with you, providing the flexibility required to toss dough or reach for the peel. It is pre-shrunk to maintain its classic fit wash after wash, ensuring that the vintage look you love today remains a staple in your wardrobe for years of pizza nights to come.
Why This Design Rocks:
- The Perfect Funny Chef Tee: It brings a lighthearted, humorous energy to the kitchen, making it the ideal icebreaker for family gatherings or restaurant shifts.
- Authentic Retro Pizza Shirt Vibe: The distressed graphic elements provide an aged, timeless look that fits perfectly with current vintage fashion trends.
- A Thoughtful Vintage Foodie Gift: If you know a man whose personality is defined by his secret sauce or his obsession with hydration levels, this is the ultimate tribute to his hobby.
- Culinary Humor Apparel: It strikes the balance between being a dedicated fan of the craft and not taking oneself too seriously, embodying the joy that pizza brings to the world.
Styling Tips:
Transforming this tee from a kitchen essential to a street-style staple is effortless. For a classic, rugged look, pair it with dark indigo denim and leather boots, which complements the “distressed” aesthetic of the print. If you’re heading to a casual outdoor party, layer it under a light denim jacket or an unbuttoned flannel shirt to add depth to your outfit while keeping the focus on the central message. For those long days spent prepping ingredients, go for maximum comfort by styling it with charcoal joggers and clean white sneakers. The versatility of the design means it works just as well at a high-end food festival as it does during a late-night dough-kneading session in your own kitchen.
In the world of gastronomy, pizza is a universal language of love, and wearing this shirt is like speaking that language fluently. It’s more than just a piece of clothing; it’s an acknowledgement of the skill, patience, and heat required to create the perfect slice. By choosing This Guy Makes The Best Pizza Retro Distressed T-Shirt, you are embracing a legacy of flavor and fun. It makes a bold statement without saying a word, allowing your culinary results to speak for themselves while you stay comfortable and stylish. Don’t settle for a generic look when you can wear something that reflects your status as a kitchen legend. Grab this tee today and let the world know exactly who is responsible for the best pie in town.
About The Product
About The Product
The Gildan 5000 heavy cotton tee is a dependable classic made for everyday wear and custom printing. Its 100% cotton fabric is tightly knit to give designs sharper detail and long-lasting color. The seamless body eliminates side seams for a smoother fit.
Key Features
Stabilizes back seams to prevent stretching.
Tubular knit reduces fabric waste & looks better.
Highly elastic collar retains shape without seams.
Solid colors: 100% Cotton. Heathers: Poly blends.
Care Instructions
- Machine wash: Cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Tumble dry: Low heat
- Do not iron; Do not dryclean
Origin & Safety
- Made in Nicaragua
- Meets US/EU safety standards
- Unisex Sizing (Adult)
About The Product
The Gildan Heavy Blend™ hoodie, made from a soft cotton-poly blend, provides warmth and durability. Its unisex fit offers everyday versatility, with ribbed cuffs and hem to keep the shape intact. A large front pocket adds convenience, while the double-lined hood with matching drawcord gives it a clean, cohesive look. Trusted for custom printing and casual wear.
Key Features
Strong, smooth fabric perfect for printing. Heather Sport colors are 40/60 blend.
Adjustable double-lined hood with self-colored woven cord.
Kangaroo pouch pocket always keeps your hands warm.
Knitted in one piece using tubular knit, reducing fabric waste.
Care Instructions
- Machine wash: Cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Tumble dry: Medium heat
- Iron, steam or dry: Low heat
- Do not dryclean
Origin & Compliance
- Made in Bangladesh
- Meets safety requirements (flammability, lead, etc.)
- High quality DTG & DTF printing methods
About The Product
The Gildan 18000 sweatshirt is a unisex heavy blend crewneck made from a 50/50 cotton-polyester fabric, combining softness with lasting durability. Its smooth surface supports crisp, vibrant prints. The ribbed-knit collar and reinforced cuffs help it keep its shape over time. A seamless body design reduces irritation and adds to overall comfort.
– The White color variant may appear off-white due to fabric properties.
– Subtle orange hue shifts with lighting in the Orange color variant.
Key Features
Heavy blend fabric combines softness with durability.
Highly elastic collar helps retain shape, with seam.
Tubular knit reduces fabric waste & makes garment more attractive.
Helps sleeves stay in place and maintain shape.
Care Instructions
- Machine wash: Cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Tumble dry: Low heat
- Do not iron; Do not dryclean
- Bleach as needed (non-chlorine)
Origin & Compliance
- Made in Nicaragua
- Meets safety requirements (flammability, lead, etc.)
- Embroidery & DTG printing friendly
About The Product
This must-have unisex jersey tank top fits like a well-loved favorite. High quality print makes it an ultimate statement shirt for years to come. This item has side seams to provide structural support. All bindings are the same fabric as the rest of the tank. Depending on the color, cotton, polyester, or rayon can appear.
Key Features
Located along the sides, they help hold the garment’s shape longer and give structural support.
Bindings are made from the same fabric as the body of the garment for a polished look.
Solid colors: 100% Cotton. Heathers: 52/48 blend. Tri-blends: 50% Poly, 25% Cotton, 25% Rayon.
Meets flammability requirements. Safe for adults.
- Machine wash: Warm (max 40C or 105F)
- Tumble dry: Medium heat
- Iron, steam or dry: Medium heat
- Do not dryclean
- Made in Nicaragua
- Adult Sizing
- High quality print surface

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