Size guide
| T-SHIRT UNISEX HEAVY COTTON TEE | ||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Measurements | S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL |
| Width, in | 18.00 | 20.00 | 22.00 | 24.00 | 26.00 | 28.00 |
| Length, in | 28.00 | 29.00 | 30.00 | 31.00 | 32.00 | 33.00 |
| Sleeve length | 15.10 | 16.50 | 18.00 | 19.50 | 21.00 | 22.40 |
| Tolerance | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |
| UNISEX HOODIE | ||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Measurements | S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL |
| Width, in | 20.08 | 22.05 | 24.02 | 25.98 | 27.99 | 29.92 |
| Length, in | 27.17 | 27.95 | 29.13 | 29.92 | 31.10 | 31.89 |
| Sleeve length | 33.50 | 34.50 | 35.50 | 36.50 | 37.50 | 38.50 |
| Tolerance | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |
| UNISEX CREWNECK SWEATSHIRT | ||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Measurements | S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL |
| Width, in | 20.00 | 22.01 | 24.00 | 26.00 | 28.00 | 30.00 |
| Length, in | 27.00 | 28.00 | 29.00 | 30.00 | 31.00 | 32.00 |
| Sleeve length | 33.50 | 34.50 | 35.50 | 36.50 | 37.50 | 38.50 |
| Tolerance | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |
| UNISEX JERSEY TANK TOP | |||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Measurements | S | M | L | XL | 2XL |
| Width, in | 18.23 | 20.24 | 22.24 | 24.25 | 26.22 |
| Length, in | 26.97 | 27.99 | 28.98 | 30.00 | 30.98 |
| Arm opening | 10.12 | 10.75 | 11.63 | 12.50 | 13.37 |
| Tolerance | 1.00 | 1.00 | 1.00 | 1.00 | 1.00 |
Culinary Wisdom: The Never Trust A Skinny Cook Distressed T-Shirt

There is an age-old adage in the culinary world that suggests flavor and passion are directly proportional to the cook’s own appetite. The Never Trust A Skinny Cook Distressed T-Shirt perfectly captures this lighthearted sentiment, celebrating the joy of indulgence and the expertise of those who truly love food. This design isn’t just a piece of clothing; it’s a badge of honor for anyone who believes that a good meal starts with a chef who isn’t afraid to taste their own creations. Whether you’re a professional executive chef or a weekend grill master, this shirt speaks to the soul of the kitchen—where flavor reigns supreme and every bite is a testament to culinary mastery. It embodies the classic kitchen wit that bonds food enthusiasts together, making it an instant conversation starter at any dinner party, holiday gathering, or casual backyard barbecue. It’s a vibe that says you take your seasoning seriously, but yourself? Not so much.
Crafted for those who appreciate both style and substance, this garment is made from a premium cotton that feels soft against the skin from the very first wear. We understand that life in and out of the kitchen requires a certain level of durability and breathability, which is why we utilize a high-quality soft blend that maintains its shape and comfort through countless washes. The distressed aesthetic gives it a well-loved, vintage feel that looks like it has weathered many a dinner rush, while the fabric remains lightweight and airy enough for high-heat environments or a busy day running errands. It’s the kind of essential piece that balances the rugged demands of a busy lifestyle with the effortless ease of casual wear, ensuring you stay cool even when the kitchen gets hot.
Why This Design Rocks:
- Relatable Culinary Humor: A playful take on traditional food culture that resonates with anyone who believes the best recipes come from a place of genuine love for eating.
- Perfect Kitchen-Inspired Gift: This funny chef tee serves as an ideal present for the food lover in your life, whether it’s for a birthday, Father’s Day, or a graduation from culinary school.
- Timeless Distressed Aesthetic: The vintage-inspired typography offers a classic look that fits seamlessly into any modern wardrobe, providing a “lived-in” feel that never goes out of style.
Styling Tips:
This versatile apparel choice pairs perfectly with your favorite worn-in denim jeans for a classic, laid-back weekend look that screams “off-duty chef.” For those who are actually manning the stove, it fits comfortably under a heavy-duty canvas apron, allowing for maximum mobility while you’re prepping a multi-course feast. If you’re heading out for a casual lunch or a trip to the local farmer’s market, try layering it under a flannel shirt or a rugged utility jacket to lean into that heritage-inspired, foodie-chic aesthetic. It’s a piece that transitions easily from the heat of the professional kitchen to a relaxed evening out with friends, making it a functional addition to any wardrobe.
In a world of fleeting fashion trends, the message behind this shirt remains a classic staple of food culture. It celebrates the heart and soul of cooking—the unapologetic joy of eating well and sharing that experience with others. The Never Trust A Skinny Cook Distressed T-Shirt is more than just a clever graphic; it’s a tribute to the passion, the tasting spoons, and the extra butter that goes into every memorable dish. If you are looking for the ultimate way to express your love for the culinary arts while staying incredibly comfortable, this is the design for you. Grab one for yourself or as a thoughtful gift for the master of the kitchen in your life today.
About The Product
About The Product
The Gildan 5000 heavy cotton tee is a dependable classic made for everyday wear and custom printing. Its 100% cotton fabric is tightly knit to give designs sharper detail and long-lasting color. The seamless body eliminates side seams for a smoother fit.
Key Features
Stabilizes back seams to prevent stretching.
Tubular knit reduces fabric waste & looks better.
Highly elastic collar retains shape without seams.
Solid colors: 100% Cotton. Heathers: Poly blends.
Care Instructions
- Machine wash: Cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Tumble dry: Low heat
- Do not iron; Do not dryclean
Origin & Safety
- Made in Nicaragua
- Meets US/EU safety standards
- Unisex Sizing (Adult)
About The Product
The Gildan Heavy Blend™ hoodie, made from a soft cotton-poly blend, provides warmth and durability. Its unisex fit offers everyday versatility, with ribbed cuffs and hem to keep the shape intact. A large front pocket adds convenience, while the double-lined hood with matching drawcord gives it a clean, cohesive look. Trusted for custom printing and casual wear.
Key Features
Strong, smooth fabric perfect for printing. Heather Sport colors are 40/60 blend.
Adjustable double-lined hood with self-colored woven cord.
Kangaroo pouch pocket always keeps your hands warm.
Knitted in one piece using tubular knit, reducing fabric waste.
Care Instructions
- Machine wash: Cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Tumble dry: Medium heat
- Iron, steam or dry: Low heat
- Do not dryclean
Origin & Compliance
- Made in Bangladesh
- Meets safety requirements (flammability, lead, etc.)
- High quality DTG & DTF printing methods
About The Product
The Gildan 18000 sweatshirt is a unisex heavy blend crewneck made from a 50/50 cotton-polyester fabric, combining softness with lasting durability. Its smooth surface supports crisp, vibrant prints. The ribbed-knit collar and reinforced cuffs help it keep its shape over time. A seamless body design reduces irritation and adds to overall comfort.
– The White color variant may appear off-white due to fabric properties.
– Subtle orange hue shifts with lighting in the Orange color variant.
Key Features
Heavy blend fabric combines softness with durability.
Highly elastic collar helps retain shape, with seam.
Tubular knit reduces fabric waste & makes garment more attractive.
Helps sleeves stay in place and maintain shape.
Care Instructions
- Machine wash: Cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Tumble dry: Low heat
- Do not iron; Do not dryclean
- Bleach as needed (non-chlorine)
Origin & Compliance
- Made in Nicaragua
- Meets safety requirements (flammability, lead, etc.)
- Embroidery & DTG printing friendly
About The Product
This must-have unisex jersey tank top fits like a well-loved favorite. High quality print makes it an ultimate statement shirt for years to come. This item has side seams to provide structural support. All bindings are the same fabric as the rest of the tank. Depending on the color, cotton, polyester, or rayon can appear.
Key Features
Located along the sides, they help hold the garment’s shape longer and give structural support.
Bindings are made from the same fabric as the body of the garment for a polished look.
Solid colors: 100% Cotton. Heathers: 52/48 blend. Tri-blends: 50% Poly, 25% Cotton, 25% Rayon.
Meets flammability requirements. Safe for adults.
- Machine wash: Warm (max 40C or 105F)
- Tumble dry: Medium heat
- Iron, steam or dry: Medium heat
- Do not dryclean
- Made in Nicaragua
- Adult Sizing
- High quality print surface

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