Size guide
| T-SHIRT UNISEX HEAVY COTTON TEE | ||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Measurements | S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL |
| Width, in | 18.00 | 20.00 | 22.00 | 24.00 | 26.00 | 28.00 |
| Length, in | 28.00 | 29.00 | 30.00 | 31.00 | 32.00 | 33.00 |
| Sleeve length | 15.10 | 16.50 | 18.00 | 19.50 | 21.00 | 22.40 |
| Tolerance | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |
| UNISEX HOODIE | ||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Measurements | S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL |
| Width, in | 20.08 | 22.05 | 24.02 | 25.98 | 27.99 | 29.92 |
| Length, in | 27.17 | 27.95 | 29.13 | 29.92 | 31.10 | 31.89 |
| Sleeve length | 33.50 | 34.50 | 35.50 | 36.50 | 37.50 | 38.50 |
| Tolerance | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |
| UNISEX CREWNECK SWEATSHIRT | ||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Measurements | S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL |
| Width, in | 20.00 | 22.01 | 24.00 | 26.00 | 28.00 | 30.00 |
| Length, in | 27.00 | 28.00 | 29.00 | 30.00 | 31.00 | 32.00 |
| Sleeve length | 33.50 | 34.50 | 35.50 | 36.50 | 37.50 | 38.50 |
| Tolerance | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |
| UNISEX JERSEY TANK TOP | |||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Measurements | S | M | L | XL | 2XL |
| Width, in | 18.23 | 20.24 | 22.24 | 24.25 | 26.22 |
| Length, in | 26.97 | 27.99 | 28.98 | 30.00 | 30.98 |
| Arm opening | 10.12 | 10.75 | 11.63 | 12.50 | 13.37 |
| Tolerance | 1.00 | 1.00 | 1.00 | 1.00 | 1.00 |
Embrace the Power of the Dome with This Hilarious Vintage Graphic Tee
There is a certain level of confidence that comes with age, and nothing exemplifies that swagger quite like the Its Not A Bald Spot Its A Solar Panel For A Sex Machine Vintage T-Shirt. This design is far more than just a piece of apparel; it is a bold manifesto for the man who has traded his hairline for high-performance energy. The humor here is rooted in the classic “dad joke” tradition, yet it carries a vintage bravado that suggests the wearer is just getting started. By reframing a common sign of aging as a technological upgrade, this shirt turns a potential insecurity into a badge of honor. It speaks to a specific kind of personality—the man who is the life of the party, the one who can laugh at himself while simultaneously asserting his legendary status. Wearing this Its Not A Bald Spot Its A Solar Panel For A Sex Machine Vintage T-Shirt is a way to signal to the world that you aren’t losing your hair; you are simply optimizing your aerodynamics and energy absorption for peak performance.

Beyond the witty exterior, the actual experience of wearing this retro novelty shirt is centered on comfort and longevity. When you choose a witty graphic tee, you want it to feel like an old favorite from the very first wear. This shirt is meticulously constructed from premium cotton, ensuring a breathable and lightweight feel that is perfect for any season. The soft blend fabric gently contours to the body without feeling restrictive, making it an ideal choice for weekend getaways, backyard barbecues, or a casual night out at the local pub. This is a garment designed for those who value bald head pride and want a shirt that can keep up with their active lifestyle. The high-quality print is engineered to withstand the test of time, much like the wearer’s sense of humor, ensuring that the “solar panel” joke remains vibrant and crisp even after countless trips through the laundry. It is the ultimate hilarious gift for men who appreciate a bit of snark mixed with high-quality craftsmanship.
Product Highlights:
- Exclusively crafted from premium cotton for a breathable, skin-friendly experience that lasts all day.
- Features a specialized soft blend that provides a vintage, “broken-in” feel from the very first time you put it on.
- Reinforced stitching and high-quality graphic printing ensure this hilarious gift for men stays in your rotation for years.
- Designed with a classic, relaxed fit that offers both style and maximum mobility for any casual occasion.
In a world that takes itself far too seriously, owning your look with a dash of wit is the ultimate power move. This Its Not A Bald Spot Its A Solar Panel For A Sex Machine Vintage T-Shirt is the perfect way to show off your personality and spark a conversation wherever you go. Whether you are buying it for yourself to celebrate your “renewable energy” or looking for the perfect surprise for a friend who is thinning on top, this tee hits all the right notes of humor and style. Don’t settle for a boring wardrobe when you can wear something that makes people smile and nod in respect. It is time to lean into the legend and let everyone know exactly what that “bald spot” is really for. Secure your Its Not A Bald Spot Its A Solar Panel For A Sex Machine Vintage T-Shirt today and start radiating that high-voltage energy!
About The Product
About The Product
The Gildan 5000 heavy cotton tee is a dependable classic made for everyday wear and custom printing. Its 100% cotton fabric is tightly knit to give designs sharper detail and long-lasting color. The seamless body eliminates side seams for a smoother fit.
Key Features
Stabilizes back seams to prevent stretching.
Tubular knit reduces fabric waste & looks better.
Highly elastic collar retains shape without seams.
Solid colors: 100% Cotton. Heathers: Poly blends.
Care Instructions
- Machine wash: Cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Tumble dry: Low heat
- Do not iron; Do not dryclean
Origin & Safety
- Made in Nicaragua
- Meets US/EU safety standards
- Unisex Sizing (Adult)
About The Product
The Gildan Heavy Blend™ hoodie, made from a soft cotton-poly blend, provides warmth and durability. Its unisex fit offers everyday versatility, with ribbed cuffs and hem to keep the shape intact. A large front pocket adds convenience, while the double-lined hood with matching drawcord gives it a clean, cohesive look. Trusted for custom printing and casual wear.
Key Features
Strong, smooth fabric perfect for printing. Heather Sport colors are 40/60 blend.
Adjustable double-lined hood with self-colored woven cord.
Kangaroo pouch pocket always keeps your hands warm.
Knitted in one piece using tubular knit, reducing fabric waste.
Care Instructions
- Machine wash: Cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Tumble dry: Medium heat
- Iron, steam or dry: Low heat
- Do not dryclean
Origin & Compliance
- Made in Bangladesh
- Meets safety requirements (flammability, lead, etc.)
- High quality DTG & DTF printing methods
About The Product
The Gildan 18000 sweatshirt is a unisex heavy blend crewneck made from a 50/50 cotton-polyester fabric, combining softness with lasting durability. Its smooth surface supports crisp, vibrant prints. The ribbed-knit collar and reinforced cuffs help it keep its shape over time. A seamless body design reduces irritation and adds to overall comfort.
– The White color variant may appear off-white due to fabric properties.
– Subtle orange hue shifts with lighting in the Orange color variant.
Key Features
Heavy blend fabric combines softness with durability.
Highly elastic collar helps retain shape, with seam.
Tubular knit reduces fabric waste & makes garment more attractive.
Helps sleeves stay in place and maintain shape.
Care Instructions
- Machine wash: Cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Tumble dry: Low heat
- Do not iron; Do not dryclean
- Bleach as needed (non-chlorine)
Origin & Compliance
- Made in Nicaragua
- Meets safety requirements (flammability, lead, etc.)
- Embroidery & DTG printing friendly
About The Product
This must-have unisex jersey tank top fits like a well-loved favorite. High quality print makes it an ultimate statement shirt for years to come. This item has side seams to provide structural support. All bindings are the same fabric as the rest of the tank. Depending on the color, cotton, polyester, or rayon can appear.
Key Features
Located along the sides, they help hold the garment’s shape longer and give structural support.
Bindings are made from the same fabric as the body of the garment for a polished look.
Solid colors: 100% Cotton. Heathers: 52/48 blend. Tri-blends: 50% Poly, 25% Cotton, 25% Rayon.
Meets flammability requirements. Safe for adults.
- Machine wash: Warm (max 40C or 105F)
- Tumble dry: Medium heat
- Iron, steam or dry: Medium heat
- Do not dryclean
- Made in Nicaragua
- Adult Sizing
- High quality print surface

Reviews
There are no reviews yet.