Size guide
| T-SHIRT UNISEX HEAVY COTTON TEE | ||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Measurements | S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL |
| Width, in | 18.00 | 20.00 | 22.00 | 24.00 | 26.00 | 28.00 |
| Length, in | 28.00 | 29.00 | 30.00 | 31.00 | 32.00 | 33.00 |
| Sleeve length | 15.10 | 16.50 | 18.00 | 19.50 | 21.00 | 22.40 |
| Tolerance | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |
| UNISEX HOODIE | ||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Measurements | S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL |
| Width, in | 20.08 | 22.05 | 24.02 | 25.98 | 27.99 | 29.92 |
| Length, in | 27.17 | 27.95 | 29.13 | 29.92 | 31.10 | 31.89 |
| Sleeve length | 33.50 | 34.50 | 35.50 | 36.50 | 37.50 | 38.50 |
| Tolerance | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |
| UNISEX CREWNECK SWEATSHIRT | ||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Measurements | S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL |
| Width, in | 20.00 | 22.01 | 24.00 | 26.00 | 28.00 | 30.00 |
| Length, in | 27.00 | 28.00 | 29.00 | 30.00 | 31.00 | 32.00 |
| Sleeve length | 33.50 | 34.50 | 35.50 | 36.50 | 37.50 | 38.50 |
| Tolerance | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |
| UNISEX JERSEY TANK TOP | |||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Measurements | S | M | L | XL | 2XL |
| Width, in | 18.23 | 20.24 | 22.24 | 24.25 | 26.22 |
| Length, in | 26.97 | 27.99 | 28.98 | 30.00 | 30.98 |
| Arm opening | 10.12 | 10.75 | 11.63 | 12.50 | 13.37 |
| Tolerance | 1.00 | 1.00 | 1.00 | 1.00 | 1.00 |
Master the Art of Subversive Irony with This Iconic Graphic Tee
When it comes to making a statement, nothing speaks louder than a clever subversion of a well-known cultural trope. The I Gotta See The Candy First Then I Get The Van Funny T-Shirt Graphic Tee takes a classic cautionary tale and flips the script, delivering a punchline that is as unexpected as it is hilarious. This piece of dark humor apparel is designed for those who appreciate the finer points of irony and aren’t afraid to wear their wit on their sleeve. In a world of generic slogans, this tee stands out by embracing a “vibe” that is equal parts edgy, self-aware, and undeniably funny. It is the perfect icebreaker for social gatherings, providing a quick way to identify fellow fans of dry humor and meta-commentary on pop culture archetypes.
Key Features:
- Crafted from premium cotton for a breathable, lightweight feel that lasts all day.
- Features a high-definition print process that ensures the design remains vibrant and crisp after every wash.
- Constructed with a soft blend that provides a comfortable stretch and a classic unisex fit.
- Reinforced stitching on the collar and sleeves for maximum durability and long-term wear.
Beyond its comedic value, this sarcastic statement shirt serves as a versatile cornerstone for any casual wardrobe. Whether you are pairing it with distressed denim for a relaxed weekend look or layering it under a flannel for a more textured aesthetic, the design remains the focal point. The humor inherent in the message plays on the absurdity of negotiation, making it a quirky gift idea for the friend who is always the first to make a joke at a party. Because it utilizes a premium cotton foundation, you don’t have to sacrifice comfort for the sake of comedy. The fabric is treated to maintain its shape, ensuring that the silhouette stays sharp even after multiple trips through the laundry. It captures a certain vintage comedy vibe, reminiscent of classic stand-up sets where the humor comes from observations of the strange rules we all grew up with.
Maintaining the integrity of your favorite graphic tees is essential for keeping the humor fresh. We recommend washing this shirt in cold water with similar colors to preserve the ink’s depth. To keep the soft blend feeling its best, tumble dry on a low setting or hang dry to prevent any unwanted shrinkage. This attention to care ensures that your investment in high-quality apparel pays off over time, allowing you to keep making people laugh for years to come. Whether you are buying it for yourself to express your unique personality or looking for that perfect quirky gift idea for a birthday or holiday, this shirt delivers on both quality and comedic impact. It is a testament to the fact that fashion should be fun, daring, and just a little bit mischievous.
In conclusion, the I Gotta See The Candy First Then I Get The Van Funny T-Shirt Graphic Tee is the ultimate choice for anyone looking to add a layer of sophisticated sarcasm to their daily rotation. It balances high-quality materials with a design that challenges the status quo, proving that you can look great while making a bold statement. From its premium cotton construction to its unforgettable punchline, this tee is a celebration of the unconventional. Grab yours today and let the world know that you’re not just following the crowd—you’re negotiating the terms of the journey with style and a smile.

About The Product
About The Product
The Gildan 5000 heavy cotton tee is a dependable classic made for everyday wear and custom printing. Its 100% cotton fabric is tightly knit to give designs sharper detail and long-lasting color. The seamless body eliminates side seams for a smoother fit.
Key Features
Stabilizes back seams to prevent stretching.
Tubular knit reduces fabric waste & looks better.
Highly elastic collar retains shape without seams.
Solid colors: 100% Cotton. Heathers: Poly blends.
Care Instructions
- Machine wash: Cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Tumble dry: Low heat
- Do not iron; Do not dryclean
Origin & Safety
- Made in Nicaragua
- Meets US/EU safety standards
- Unisex Sizing (Adult)
About The Product
The Gildan Heavy Blend™ hoodie, made from a soft cotton-poly blend, provides warmth and durability. Its unisex fit offers everyday versatility, with ribbed cuffs and hem to keep the shape intact. A large front pocket adds convenience, while the double-lined hood with matching drawcord gives it a clean, cohesive look. Trusted for custom printing and casual wear.
Key Features
Strong, smooth fabric perfect for printing. Heather Sport colors are 40/60 blend.
Adjustable double-lined hood with self-colored woven cord.
Kangaroo pouch pocket always keeps your hands warm.
Knitted in one piece using tubular knit, reducing fabric waste.
Care Instructions
- Machine wash: Cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Tumble dry: Medium heat
- Iron, steam or dry: Low heat
- Do not dryclean
Origin & Compliance
- Made in Bangladesh
- Meets safety requirements (flammability, lead, etc.)
- High quality DTG & DTF printing methods
About The Product
The Gildan 18000 sweatshirt is a unisex heavy blend crewneck made from a 50/50 cotton-polyester fabric, combining softness with lasting durability. Its smooth surface supports crisp, vibrant prints. The ribbed-knit collar and reinforced cuffs help it keep its shape over time. A seamless body design reduces irritation and adds to overall comfort.
– The White color variant may appear off-white due to fabric properties.
– Subtle orange hue shifts with lighting in the Orange color variant.
Key Features
Heavy blend fabric combines softness with durability.
Highly elastic collar helps retain shape, with seam.
Tubular knit reduces fabric waste & makes garment more attractive.
Helps sleeves stay in place and maintain shape.
Care Instructions
- Machine wash: Cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Tumble dry: Low heat
- Do not iron; Do not dryclean
- Bleach as needed (non-chlorine)
Origin & Compliance
- Made in Nicaragua
- Meets safety requirements (flammability, lead, etc.)
- Embroidery & DTG printing friendly
About The Product
This must-have unisex jersey tank top fits like a well-loved favorite. High quality print makes it an ultimate statement shirt for years to come. This item has side seams to provide structural support. All bindings are the same fabric as the rest of the tank. Depending on the color, cotton, polyester, or rayon can appear.
Key Features
Located along the sides, they help hold the garment’s shape longer and give structural support.
Bindings are made from the same fabric as the body of the garment for a polished look.
Solid colors: 100% Cotton. Heathers: 52/48 blend. Tri-blends: 50% Poly, 25% Cotton, 25% Rayon.
Meets flammability requirements. Safe for adults.
- Machine wash: Warm (max 40C or 105F)
- Tumble dry: Medium heat
- Iron, steam or dry: Medium heat
- Do not dryclean
- Made in Nicaragua
- Adult Sizing
- High quality print surface

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