Size guide
| T-SHIRT UNISEX HEAVY COTTON TEE | ||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Measurements | S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL |
| Width, in | 18.00 | 20.00 | 22.00 | 24.00 | 26.00 | 28.00 |
| Length, in | 28.00 | 29.00 | 30.00 | 31.00 | 32.00 | 33.00 |
| Sleeve length | 15.10 | 16.50 | 18.00 | 19.50 | 21.00 | 22.40 |
| Tolerance | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |
| UNISEX HOODIE | ||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Measurements | S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL |
| Width, in | 20.08 | 22.05 | 24.02 | 25.98 | 27.99 | 29.92 |
| Length, in | 27.17 | 27.95 | 29.13 | 29.92 | 31.10 | 31.89 |
| Sleeve length | 33.50 | 34.50 | 35.50 | 36.50 | 37.50 | 38.50 |
| Tolerance | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |
| UNISEX CREWNECK SWEATSHIRT | ||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Measurements | S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL |
| Width, in | 20.00 | 22.01 | 24.00 | 26.00 | 28.00 | 30.00 |
| Length, in | 27.00 | 28.00 | 29.00 | 30.00 | 31.00 | 32.00 |
| Sleeve length | 33.50 | 34.50 | 35.50 | 36.50 | 37.50 | 38.50 |
| Tolerance | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |
| UNISEX JERSEY TANK TOP | |||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Measurements | S | M | L | XL | 2XL |
| Width, in | 18.23 | 20.24 | 22.24 | 24.25 | 26.22 |
| Length, in | 26.97 | 27.99 | 28.98 | 30.00 | 30.98 |
| Arm opening | 10.12 | 10.75 | 11.63 | 12.50 | 13.37 |
| Tolerance | 1.00 | 1.00 | 1.00 | 1.00 | 1.00 |
Master the Art of the Shift: The Ultimate Coffee to Alcohol Transition Tee

We’ve all been there—that specific, pivotal moment when the morning grind finally ends and the evening revelry begins. This Coffee, You Are On The Bench. Alcohol. Suit Up. Vintage Distressed T-Shirt Funny Tee captures that universal shift with a wink and a nod to the daily struggle of the modern adult. It’s more than just a piece of clothing; it’s a lifestyle manifesto for those who respect the power of a double espresso but know exactly when it’s time to call in the liquid reinforcements. The “suit up” phrase brings a sense of mock-seriousness to the transition, treating a night out like a tactical mission. This design embodies a rebellious spirit that refuses to take adulthood too seriously, making it a conversation starter at every social gathering. It perfectly balances the relatable fatigue of the workday with the infectious excitement of the weekend.
When it comes to the construction of this garment, we prioritize comfort as much as the joke itself. Crafted from premium cotton and a soft blend of high-quality fibers, this tee feels like a well-loved favorite from the very first wear. The fabric is breathable and lightweight, ensuring you stay cool whether you’re under the pressure of a deadline or the heat of a crowded bar. The vintage-inspired texture offers a lived-in look that pairs perfectly with the distressed aesthetic, giving you that effortless “cool” factor without having to try. It’s built to withstand countless wash cycles while maintaining its shape and the integrity of the print, proving that a funny tee can also be a durable, high-end piece of your daily rotation. You won’t have to worry about irritation or stiffness here; it’s all about smooth, wearable comfort.
Why This Design Rocks:
- Features a retro graphic tee vibe that perfectly complements its sarcastic message, making it a standout piece in any vintage-inspired collection.
- Perfect for those who love sarcastic humor apparel that tells a story about their personality without saying a word.
- Makes for a fantastic gift for the coffee-obsessed friend who also happens to be a connoisseur of the cocktail hour.
- An essential weekend wardrobe staple that transitions seamlessly from a casual afternoon brunch to a late-night party with the crew.
Styling Tips:
To maximize the impact of this tee, lean into its casual, retro roots. Pair it with a distressed denim jacket and your favorite worn-in jeans for a classic, rugged look that screams weekend ready. For a slightly more “put together” feel that still maintains its edge, tuck it into a pair of dark chinos and throw on some clean white sneakers. If you’re heading to a casual backyard BBQ or a pub crawl, simply wear it as is—the bold, distressed typography does all the heavy lifting for your outfit. It’s the kind of versatile piece that works just as well under a leather jacket as it does paired with simple lounge shorts on a warm summer evening. No matter how you wear it, the message remains clear: the work day is over, and the real fun is just beginning.
Whether you’re a fan of clever wordplay or just someone who appreciates a good drink after a long day of productivity, the Coffee, You Are On The Bench. Alcohol. Suit Up. Vintage Distressed T-Shirt Funny Tee is a must-have addition to your closet. It perfectly encapsulates the balance between the hustle and the hang, ensuring you look great while you’re bailing out the caffeine and bringing in the booze. Don’t let your style sit on the sidelines while your personality waits for the weekend. It’s time to suit up, embrace the humor, and make a statement that everyone at the bar will appreciate. This shirt is your new go-to for every occasion where laughter and a cold drink are the top priorities.
About The Product
About The Product
The Gildan 5000 heavy cotton tee is a dependable classic made for everyday wear and custom printing. Its 100% cotton fabric is tightly knit to give designs sharper detail and long-lasting color. The seamless body eliminates side seams for a smoother fit.
Key Features
Stabilizes back seams to prevent stretching.
Tubular knit reduces fabric waste & looks better.
Highly elastic collar retains shape without seams.
Solid colors: 100% Cotton. Heathers: Poly blends.
Care Instructions
- Machine wash: Cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Tumble dry: Low heat
- Do not iron; Do not dryclean
Origin & Safety
- Made in Nicaragua
- Meets US/EU safety standards
- Unisex Sizing (Adult)
About The Product
The Gildan Heavy Blend™ hoodie, made from a soft cotton-poly blend, provides warmth and durability. Its unisex fit offers everyday versatility, with ribbed cuffs and hem to keep the shape intact. A large front pocket adds convenience, while the double-lined hood with matching drawcord gives it a clean, cohesive look. Trusted for custom printing and casual wear.
Key Features
Strong, smooth fabric perfect for printing. Heather Sport colors are 40/60 blend.
Adjustable double-lined hood with self-colored woven cord.
Kangaroo pouch pocket always keeps your hands warm.
Knitted in one piece using tubular knit, reducing fabric waste.
Care Instructions
- Machine wash: Cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Tumble dry: Medium heat
- Iron, steam or dry: Low heat
- Do not dryclean
Origin & Compliance
- Made in Bangladesh
- Meets safety requirements (flammability, lead, etc.)
- High quality DTG & DTF printing methods
About The Product
The Gildan 18000 sweatshirt is a unisex heavy blend crewneck made from a 50/50 cotton-polyester fabric, combining softness with lasting durability. Its smooth surface supports crisp, vibrant prints. The ribbed-knit collar and reinforced cuffs help it keep its shape over time. A seamless body design reduces irritation and adds to overall comfort.
– The White color variant may appear off-white due to fabric properties.
– Subtle orange hue shifts with lighting in the Orange color variant.
Key Features
Heavy blend fabric combines softness with durability.
Highly elastic collar helps retain shape, with seam.
Tubular knit reduces fabric waste & makes garment more attractive.
Helps sleeves stay in place and maintain shape.
Care Instructions
- Machine wash: Cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Tumble dry: Low heat
- Do not iron; Do not dryclean
- Bleach as needed (non-chlorine)
Origin & Compliance
- Made in Nicaragua
- Meets safety requirements (flammability, lead, etc.)
- Embroidery & DTG printing friendly
About The Product
This must-have unisex jersey tank top fits like a well-loved favorite. High quality print makes it an ultimate statement shirt for years to come. This item has side seams to provide structural support. All bindings are the same fabric as the rest of the tank. Depending on the color, cotton, polyester, or rayon can appear.
Key Features
Located along the sides, they help hold the garment’s shape longer and give structural support.
Bindings are made from the same fabric as the body of the garment for a polished look.
Solid colors: 100% Cotton. Heathers: 52/48 blend. Tri-blends: 50% Poly, 25% Cotton, 25% Rayon.
Meets flammability requirements. Safe for adults.
- Machine wash: Warm (max 40C or 105F)
- Tumble dry: Medium heat
- Iron, steam or dry: Medium heat
- Do not dryclean
- Made in Nicaragua
- Adult Sizing
- High quality print surface

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