Size guide
| T-SHIRT UNISEX HEAVY COTTON TEE | ||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Measurements | S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL |
| Width, in | 18.00 | 20.00 | 22.00 | 24.00 | 26.00 | 28.00 |
| Length, in | 28.00 | 29.00 | 30.00 | 31.00 | 32.00 | 33.00 |
| Sleeve length | 15.10 | 16.50 | 18.00 | 19.50 | 21.00 | 22.40 |
| Tolerance | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |
| UNISEX HOODIE | ||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Measurements | S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL |
| Width, in | 20.08 | 22.05 | 24.02 | 25.98 | 27.99 | 29.92 |
| Length, in | 27.17 | 27.95 | 29.13 | 29.92 | 31.10 | 31.89 |
| Sleeve length | 33.50 | 34.50 | 35.50 | 36.50 | 37.50 | 38.50 |
| Tolerance | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |
| UNISEX CREWNECK SWEATSHIRT | ||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Measurements | S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL |
| Width, in | 20.00 | 22.01 | 24.00 | 26.00 | 28.00 | 30.00 |
| Length, in | 27.00 | 28.00 | 29.00 | 30.00 | 31.00 | 32.00 |
| Sleeve length | 33.50 | 34.50 | 35.50 | 36.50 | 37.50 | 38.50 |
| Tolerance | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |
| UNISEX JERSEY TANK TOP | |||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Measurements | S | M | L | XL | 2XL |
| Width, in | 18.23 | 20.24 | 22.24 | 24.25 | 26.22 |
| Length, in | 26.97 | 27.99 | 28.98 | 30.00 | 30.98 |
| Arm opening | 10.12 | 10.75 | 11.63 | 12.50 | 13.37 |
| Tolerance | 1.00 | 1.00 | 1.00 | 1.00 | 1.00 |
Embrace Your Bold Personality with the Certified Asshole Distressed Vintage T-Shirt
Sometimes, the best way to navigate modern social interactions is through a healthy dose of self-deprecating humor and radical honesty. The Certified Asshole Distressed Vintage T-Shirt isn’t just a piece of clothing; it’s a badge of honor for those who refuse to take life—or themselves—too seriously. This design taps into a specific kind of “unfiltered” vibe that resonates with anyone who has ever been called difficult but knows they are simply staying true to their unique personality. It is about that unapologetic attitude where you embrace your inner critic and let the world know exactly what they are getting into before you even open your mouth. The distressed aesthetic adds a layer of authenticity, suggesting that this “certification” wasn’t earned overnight but through years of perfected sarcasm and witty remarks. It serves as the perfect icebreaker for social gatherings where you want to set the tone immediately: you are here for a good time, but you are certainly not here to sugarcoat the truth for anyone’s convenience.
Beyond the bold statement, this retro graphic novelty tee is designed for individuals who value physical comfort as much as they value a sharp wit. When you slip into this shirt, you will notice the immediate “favorite tee” feel that usually takes years of wear and tear to achieve. Crafted from a soft blend of high-quality materials, it offers a lightweight and breathable experience that makes it ideal for all-day wear, whether you are lounging at home or out making a scene at the local pub. The construction utilizes premium cotton fibers that ensure the fabric remains incredibly soft against the skin while maintaining its structured shape through countless wash cycles. It is the kind of edgy statement shirt that bridges the gap between high-quality craftsmanship and counter-culture fashion. The vintage aesthetic streetwear look ensures that while your message might be loud and abrasive, your style remains classic, timeless, and effortlessly cool. This is not just a seasonal gimmick; it is a durable garment designed to withstand the rigors of a busy life while keeping your sense of humor front and center in every situation.
Product Highlights:
- Crafted with a soft blend of high-quality fabrics for ultimate daily comfort and a broken-in feel.
- Features a premium cotton construction for long-lasting durability, breathability, and a superior fit.
- Designed with a classic silhouette that complements various body types and layers perfectly with any wardrobe.
- Printed with specialized, high-definition inks that maintain their vibrancy and distressed character over time.
If you are looking for the ultimate gift for that one friend who is notoriously difficult—or if you simply want to claim the title for yourself—look no further. This tee is more than just a novelty; it is a lifestyle choice for the bold, the blunt, and the brave. It pairs perfectly with distressed jeans, leather jackets, or even your favorite pair of lounge pants for those days when you really don’t care what the neighbors think. Don’t let your unique personality go unrecognized or misunderstood by the masses. Step up your wardrobe game and let your outfit do the talking for you so you don’t have to. Grab your Certified Asshole Distressed Vintage T-Shirt today and wear your reputation with pride!
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