Size guide
| T-SHIRT UNISEX HEAVY COTTON TEE | ||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Measurements | S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL |
| Width, in | 18.00 | 20.00 | 22.00 | 24.00 | 26.00 | 28.00 |
| Length, in | 28.00 | 29.00 | 30.00 | 31.00 | 32.00 | 33.00 |
| Sleeve length | 15.10 | 16.50 | 18.00 | 19.50 | 21.00 | 22.40 |
| Tolerance | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |
| UNISEX HOODIE | ||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Measurements | S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL |
| Width, in | 20.08 | 22.05 | 24.02 | 25.98 | 27.99 | 29.92 |
| Length, in | 27.17 | 27.95 | 29.13 | 29.92 | 31.10 | 31.89 |
| Sleeve length | 33.50 | 34.50 | 35.50 | 36.50 | 37.50 | 38.50 |
| Tolerance | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |
| UNISEX CREWNECK SWEATSHIRT | ||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Measurements | S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL |
| Width, in | 20.00 | 22.01 | 24.00 | 26.00 | 28.00 | 30.00 |
| Length, in | 27.00 | 28.00 | 29.00 | 30.00 | 31.00 | 32.00 |
| Sleeve length | 33.50 | 34.50 | 35.50 | 36.50 | 37.50 | 38.50 |
| Tolerance | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |
| UNISEX JERSEY TANK TOP | |||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Measurements | S | M | L | XL | 2XL |
| Width, in | 18.23 | 20.24 | 22.24 | 24.25 | 26.22 |
| Length, in | 26.97 | 27.99 | 28.98 | 30.00 | 30.98 |
| Arm opening | 10.12 | 10.75 | 11.63 | 12.50 | 13.37 |
| Tolerance | 1.00 | 1.00 | 1.00 | 1.00 | 1.00 |
Safety First: Why Your Bourbon is More Reliable Than Your Salad
Let’s face it: life is full of unexpected hazards, from traffic jams to sudden dietary scares. But if there’s one sanctuary of safety in an uncertain world, it’s the bottom of a glass of fine Kentucky spirit. This Bourbon Has Never Ben Recalled For E-Coli Suck It Lettuce Vintage T-Shirt Funny Tee captures that exact sentiment with a heavy dose of snark and a splash of truth. It’s not just a piece of clothing; it’s a lifestyle manifesto for those who prioritize their highball over their salad bowl. While the world worries about the latest leafy green recall, you can sit back with a neat pour, knowing your beverage of choice is biologically sound and emotionally supportive. This design leans into that rugged, old-school defiance, blending a vintage aesthetic with a modern punchline that resonates at any backyard barbecue or local dive bar. It is the ultimate conversation starter for those who know that the only “green” they need is the mint in their julep.
Craftsmanship matters as much as the joke when it comes to your wardrobe staples. This tee is constructed from a premium cotton fabric that feels broken-in and cozy from the very first wear. We’ve carefully selected a soft blend that balances breathability with enough weight to ensure the garment holds its shape through countless laundry cycles. There’s no scratchy or stiff feel here—just a smooth, comfortable fit that mirrors the smoothness of a well-aged, barrel-strength bourbon. The printing process is high-caliber, ensuring the graphics remain vibrant and sharp, allowing the humor to stand out even after years of wear. It’s the kind of reliable staple you reach for when you want to make a bold statement without sacrificing an ounce of comfort.
Why This Design Rocks:
- The perfect Bourbon lover gift for the connoisseur who has every rare bottle but needs a bit more attitude in their closet.
- A top-tier sarcastic graphic tee that highlights the absurdity of health scares with a witty, alcohol-inspired twist.
- Features a timeless retro humor shirt aesthetic that pairs effortlessly with your favorite worn-in boots and rugged denim.
- High-quality whiskey apparel designed to spark laughter and perhaps earn you a free round from a fellow enthusiast at the bar.
Styling Tips:
Styling this piece is as easy as pouring a three-finger neat on a Friday night. For a classic, effortless look, pair it with distressed blue jeans and a sturdy leather jacket to lean into that rebellious, Americana spirit. If you’re heading to a casual distillery tour or a weekend bonfire, throw on an unbuttoned flannel shirt over it for a layered, rustic aesthetic that screams comfort. It even works surprisingly well under a casual blazer if you want to bring a bit of levity to a semi-formal gathering or a “casual Friday” at the office. Whether you’re pairing it with sneakers for a day of running errands or heavy-duty boots for a night out, the versatile design ensures you look sharp while delivering a hilarious message to the health-conscious masses.
In a world obsessed with wellness trends, detoxes, and kale smoothies, sometimes you just need to stand up for the finer, fermented things in life. This Bourbon Has Never Ben Recalled For E-Coli Suck It Lettuce Vintage T-Shirt Funny Tee serves as your official badge of honor. It’s a witty, stylish reminder that while vegetables might occasionally let you down, a good bottle of bourbon is forever faithful and remarkably safe. Grab yours today, pour yourself a glass of the good stuff, and let the world know exactly where your priorities—and your palate—truly lie.
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