Size guide
| T-SHIRT UNISEX HEAVY COTTON TEE | ||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Measurements | S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL |
| Width, in | 18.00 | 20.00 | 22.00 | 24.00 | 26.00 | 28.00 |
| Length, in | 28.00 | 29.00 | 30.00 | 31.00 | 32.00 | 33.00 |
| Sleeve length | 15.10 | 16.50 | 18.00 | 19.50 | 21.00 | 22.40 |
| Tolerance | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |
| UNISEX HOODIE | ||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Measurements | S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL |
| Width, in | 20.08 | 22.05 | 24.02 | 25.98 | 27.99 | 29.92 |
| Length, in | 27.17 | 27.95 | 29.13 | 29.92 | 31.10 | 31.89 |
| Sleeve length | 33.50 | 34.50 | 35.50 | 36.50 | 37.50 | 38.50 |
| Tolerance | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |
| UNISEX CREWNECK SWEATSHIRT | ||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Measurements | S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL |
| Width, in | 20.00 | 22.01 | 24.00 | 26.00 | 28.00 | 30.00 |
| Length, in | 27.00 | 28.00 | 29.00 | 30.00 | 31.00 | 32.00 |
| Sleeve length | 33.50 | 34.50 | 35.50 | 36.50 | 37.50 | 38.50 |
| Tolerance | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |
| UNISEX JERSEY TANK TOP | |||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Measurements | S | M | L | XL | 2XL |
| Width, in | 18.23 | 20.24 | 22.24 | 24.25 | 26.22 |
| Length, in | 26.97 | 27.99 | 28.98 | 30.00 | 30.98 |
| Arm opening | 10.12 | 10.75 | 11.63 | 12.50 | 13.37 |
| Tolerance | 1.00 | 1.00 | 1.00 | 1.00 | 1.00 |
Embrace the Legendary Nights with the Alcohol Because No Good Story Started With A Salad Vintage Graphic T-Shirt Tee Gift
Life is a collection of memories, and more often than not, the most enduring tales are born from spontaneous moments and shared celebrations rather than strict routines. This Alcohol Because No Good Story Started With A Salad Vintage Graphic T-Shirt Tee Gift captures the essence of that sentiment perfectly, offering a cheeky nod to the nights we never want to forget. It serves as a humorous rebellion against the mundane, suggesting that while health has its place, the soul thrives on connection, laughter, and perhaps a well-crafted cocktail or a cold brew. This vintage style graphic tee isn’t just a piece of clothing; it’s a wearable manifesto for those who prioritize experiences and the joy of social interaction. Whether you are the designated storyteller of your friend group or the one who is always ready for a toast, this shirt resonates with a universal truth about the human experience: the best adventures usually involve a bit of indulgence and a lot of good company.
Key Features:
- Crafted from premium cotton for exceptional breathability and all-day comfort.
- Features a soft blend of high-quality fabrics that feel gentle against the skin from the very first wear.
- High-definition vintage printing techniques ensure the graphic remains vibrant and resistant to fading.
- Designed with a classic unisex fit that provides a flattering silhouette for all body types.
The versatility of this sarcastic humor apparel makes it a must-have addition to any casual wardrobe. Its aesthetic leans into the timeless retro vibe that is currently dominating street fashion, allowing it to pair effortlessly with distressed denim, leather jackets, or even layered under a flannel for a rugged look. This isn’t just a social gathering outfit; it’s a conversation starter that breaks the ice at parties, festivals, or your local pub. When you wear this shirt, you are signaling to the world that you have a sense of humor and a zest for life. Furthermore, it makes for an incredible gift. If you have a friend who is notoriously difficult to shop for but loves a good laugh, this tee hits the sweet spot of being both thoughtful and hilarious. It is the perfect choice for birthdays, bachelor or bachelorette parties, or even as a “just because” gift for your favorite drinking buddy.
Maintaining the quality of your new favorite shirt is simple, ensuring it stays in your rotation for years to come. We recommend washing the garment inside out in cold water to protect the integrity of the vintage graphic. Utilizing a mild detergent and avoiding bleach will keep the colors rich and the fabric feeling like new. For drying, a low-tumble setting is ideal, though air-drying is always a great option to prevent any unwanted shrinkage. Because we use a soft blend and premium cotton, the fabric retains its shape and softness even after multiple trips through the laundry. This commitment to quality means you can focus on making more memories and telling more stories, knowing your gear can handle the journey alongside you.
In conclusion, the Alcohol Because No Good Story Started With A Salad Vintage Graphic T-Shirt Tee Gift is more than just a witty phrase on a shirt; it is a celebration of the unpredictable and the joyous. It encourages us to put down the kale for a moment and pick up a glass with friends, acknowledging that the most legendary chapters of our lives are written in the company of those who make us laugh. By choosing this premium tee, you are investing in a piece of apparel that reflects your personality and your love for a good time. Wear it with pride, toast to the good times, and keep making those stories that are worth telling for years to come.

About The Product
About The Product
The Gildan 5000 heavy cotton tee is a dependable classic made for everyday wear and custom printing. Its 100% cotton fabric is tightly knit to give designs sharper detail and long-lasting color. The seamless body eliminates side seams for a smoother fit.
Key Features
Stabilizes back seams to prevent stretching.
Tubular knit reduces fabric waste & looks better.
Highly elastic collar retains shape without seams.
Solid colors: 100% Cotton. Heathers: Poly blends.
Care Instructions
- Machine wash: Cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Tumble dry: Low heat
- Do not iron; Do not dryclean
Origin & Safety
- Made in Nicaragua
- Meets US/EU safety standards
- Unisex Sizing (Adult)
About The Product
The Gildan Heavy Blend™ hoodie, made from a soft cotton-poly blend, provides warmth and durability. Its unisex fit offers everyday versatility, with ribbed cuffs and hem to keep the shape intact. A large front pocket adds convenience, while the double-lined hood with matching drawcord gives it a clean, cohesive look. Trusted for custom printing and casual wear.
Key Features
Strong, smooth fabric perfect for printing. Heather Sport colors are 40/60 blend.
Adjustable double-lined hood with self-colored woven cord.
Kangaroo pouch pocket always keeps your hands warm.
Knitted in one piece using tubular knit, reducing fabric waste.
Care Instructions
- Machine wash: Cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Tumble dry: Medium heat
- Iron, steam or dry: Low heat
- Do not dryclean
Origin & Compliance
- Made in Bangladesh
- Meets safety requirements (flammability, lead, etc.)
- High quality DTG & DTF printing methods
About The Product
The Gildan 18000 sweatshirt is a unisex heavy blend crewneck made from a 50/50 cotton-polyester fabric, combining softness with lasting durability. Its smooth surface supports crisp, vibrant prints. The ribbed-knit collar and reinforced cuffs help it keep its shape over time. A seamless body design reduces irritation and adds to overall comfort.
– The White color variant may appear off-white due to fabric properties.
– Subtle orange hue shifts with lighting in the Orange color variant.
Key Features
Heavy blend fabric combines softness with durability.
Highly elastic collar helps retain shape, with seam.
Tubular knit reduces fabric waste & makes garment more attractive.
Helps sleeves stay in place and maintain shape.
Care Instructions
- Machine wash: Cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Tumble dry: Low heat
- Do not iron; Do not dryclean
- Bleach as needed (non-chlorine)
Origin & Compliance
- Made in Nicaragua
- Meets safety requirements (flammability, lead, etc.)
- Embroidery & DTG printing friendly
About The Product
This must-have unisex jersey tank top fits like a well-loved favorite. High quality print makes it an ultimate statement shirt for years to come. This item has side seams to provide structural support. All bindings are the same fabric as the rest of the tank. Depending on the color, cotton, polyester, or rayon can appear.
Key Features
Located along the sides, they help hold the garment’s shape longer and give structural support.
Bindings are made from the same fabric as the body of the garment for a polished look.
Solid colors: 100% Cotton. Heathers: 52/48 blend. Tri-blends: 50% Poly, 25% Cotton, 25% Rayon.
Meets flammability requirements. Safe for adults.
- Machine wash: Warm (max 40C or 105F)
- Tumble dry: Medium heat
- Iron, steam or dry: Medium heat
- Do not dryclean
- Made in Nicaragua
- Adult Sizing
- High quality print surface

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