Size guide
| T-SHIRT UNISEX HEAVY COTTON TEE | ||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Measurements | S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL |
| Width, in | 18.00 | 20.00 | 22.00 | 24.00 | 26.00 | 28.00 |
| Length, in | 28.00 | 29.00 | 30.00 | 31.00 | 32.00 | 33.00 |
| Sleeve length | 15.10 | 16.50 | 18.00 | 19.50 | 21.00 | 22.40 |
| Tolerance | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |
| UNISEX HOODIE | ||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Measurements | S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL |
| Width, in | 20.08 | 22.05 | 24.02 | 25.98 | 27.99 | 29.92 |
| Length, in | 27.17 | 27.95 | 29.13 | 29.92 | 31.10 | 31.89 |
| Sleeve length | 33.50 | 34.50 | 35.50 | 36.50 | 37.50 | 38.50 |
| Tolerance | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |
| UNISEX CREWNECK SWEATSHIRT | ||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Measurements | S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL |
| Width, in | 20.00 | 22.01 | 24.00 | 26.00 | 28.00 | 30.00 |
| Length, in | 27.00 | 28.00 | 29.00 | 30.00 | 31.00 | 32.00 |
| Sleeve length | 33.50 | 34.50 | 35.50 | 36.50 | 37.50 | 38.50 |
| Tolerance | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |
| UNISEX JERSEY TANK TOP | |||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Measurements | S | M | L | XL | 2XL |
| Width, in | 18.23 | 20.24 | 22.24 | 24.25 | 26.22 |
| Length, in | 26.97 | 27.99 | 28.98 | 30.00 | 30.98 |
| Arm opening | 10.12 | 10.75 | 11.63 | 12.50 | 13.37 |
| Tolerance | 1.00 | 1.00 | 1.00 | 1.00 | 1.00 |
Own the Awkward with the Retro-Inspired Queef Counter Tee
In a world where everyone tries to be perfectly polished and curated, there is something incredibly refreshing about leaning into the absurd and the unexpected. This design isn’t just a piece of clothing; it’s a badge of honor for those who live life with absolutely no filter and a wicked sense of humor. By taking the classic industrial safety trope—the “Days Since Last Accident” counter—and applying it to a perfectly natural yet hilariously taboo occurrence, this 0 Days Since I Last Queefed Retro Funny Graphic T-Shirt Novelty Tee Gift Idea becomes an instant conversation starter. It’s about more than just a quick laugh; it’s about reclaiming the awkward moments and turning them into a shared joke that breaks the ice in any room. This vintage-inspired statement tee is for the bold, the brave, and the slightly unhinged who know that life is far too short to take seriously. Whether you’re wearing it to push social boundaries or simply to give your friends a shock, the vibe is unapologetically authentic and fiercely funny.

Beyond the shock value and the witty subversion of corporate safety culture, this shirt is designed with the wearer’s daily comfort as a top priority. We believe that a joke lands much better when you’re feeling your best, which is why we’ve utilized a premium cotton construction that feels incredibly soft against the skin from the very first wear. The soft blend ensures that the fabric moves with you, providing a breathable and flexible fit that makes it ideal for all-day wear, whether you’re at a casual hangout, a music festival, or a rowdy house party. This humorous novelty apparel isn’t just a “one-wear” gag gift; it’s built to withstand the test of time and the rigors of a busy lifestyle. The high-quality construction means the seams stay straight, the neck retains its shape, and the fit remains true, even after multiple cycles through the wash. It’s the kind of sarcastic graphic shirt that quickly becomes the “favorite” in your drawer, blending that classic, broken-in feel with a high-definition print that remains vibrant and crisp. The retro typography adds a layer of nostalgic charm, making the crude humor feel intentional and stylistically grounded.
Product Highlights:
- Expertly crafted from premium cotton for ultimate breathability and a luxurious feel against the skin.
- Features a durable, professional-grade print that resists fading, peeling, and cracking over time.
- Reinforced stitching and a high-quality soft blend fabric provide long-lasting durability and shape retention.
- An excellent icebreaker and the perfect gift for pranksters, best friends, or anyone with a rebellious sense of humor.
Life is always better when you’re laughing, and there’s no more effective way to spark a giggle, a gasp, or a “did they really just wear that?” than with this unique piece of streetwear. It’s the ultimate expression of confidence—showing the world that you’re comfortable in your own skin, even when things get a little noisy or unexpected. If you’re looking for a present that will be remembered long after the wrapping paper is gone, this is the definitive choice for the person in your life who marches to the beat of their own drum. Don’t settle for boring, generic clothing when you can make a bold statement that reflects your true, unfiltered personality. Grab your 0 Days Since I Last Queefed Retro Funny Graphic T-Shirt Novelty Tee Gift Idea today, put it on, and start counting down the seconds until the next big laugh begins.
About The Product
About The Product
The Gildan 5000 heavy cotton tee is a dependable classic made for everyday wear and custom printing. Its 100% cotton fabric is tightly knit to give designs sharper detail and long-lasting color. The seamless body eliminates side seams for a smoother fit.
Key Features
Stabilizes back seams to prevent stretching.
Tubular knit reduces fabric waste & looks better.
Highly elastic collar retains shape without seams.
Solid colors: 100% Cotton. Heathers: Poly blends.
Care Instructions
- Machine wash: Cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Tumble dry: Low heat
- Do not iron; Do not dryclean
Origin & Safety
- Made in Nicaragua
- Meets US/EU safety standards
- Unisex Sizing (Adult)
About The Product
The Gildan Heavy Blend™ hoodie, made from a soft cotton-poly blend, provides warmth and durability. Its unisex fit offers everyday versatility, with ribbed cuffs and hem to keep the shape intact. A large front pocket adds convenience, while the double-lined hood with matching drawcord gives it a clean, cohesive look. Trusted for custom printing and casual wear.
Key Features
Strong, smooth fabric perfect for printing. Heather Sport colors are 40/60 blend.
Adjustable double-lined hood with self-colored woven cord.
Kangaroo pouch pocket always keeps your hands warm.
Knitted in one piece using tubular knit, reducing fabric waste.
Care Instructions
- Machine wash: Cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Tumble dry: Medium heat
- Iron, steam or dry: Low heat
- Do not dryclean
Origin & Compliance
- Made in Bangladesh
- Meets safety requirements (flammability, lead, etc.)
- High quality DTG & DTF printing methods
About The Product
The Gildan 18000 sweatshirt is a unisex heavy blend crewneck made from a 50/50 cotton-polyester fabric, combining softness with lasting durability. Its smooth surface supports crisp, vibrant prints. The ribbed-knit collar and reinforced cuffs help it keep its shape over time. A seamless body design reduces irritation and adds to overall comfort.
– The White color variant may appear off-white due to fabric properties.
– Subtle orange hue shifts with lighting in the Orange color variant.
Key Features
Heavy blend fabric combines softness with durability.
Highly elastic collar helps retain shape, with seam.
Tubular knit reduces fabric waste & makes garment more attractive.
Helps sleeves stay in place and maintain shape.
Care Instructions
- Machine wash: Cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Tumble dry: Low heat
- Do not iron; Do not dryclean
- Bleach as needed (non-chlorine)
Origin & Compliance
- Made in Nicaragua
- Meets safety requirements (flammability, lead, etc.)
- Embroidery & DTG printing friendly
About The Product
This must-have unisex jersey tank top fits like a well-loved favorite. High quality print makes it an ultimate statement shirt for years to come. This item has side seams to provide structural support. All bindings are the same fabric as the rest of the tank. Depending on the color, cotton, polyester, or rayon can appear.
Key Features
Located along the sides, they help hold the garment’s shape longer and give structural support.
Bindings are made from the same fabric as the body of the garment for a polished look.
Solid colors: 100% Cotton. Heathers: 52/48 blend. Tri-blends: 50% Poly, 25% Cotton, 25% Rayon.
Meets flammability requirements. Safe for adults.
- Machine wash: Warm (max 40C or 105F)
- Tumble dry: Medium heat
- Iron, steam or dry: Medium heat
- Do not dryclean
- Made in Nicaragua
- Adult Sizing
- High quality print surface

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