Size guide
| T-SHIRT UNISEX HEAVY COTTON TEE | ||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Measurements | S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL |
| Width, in | 18.00 | 20.00 | 22.00 | 24.00 | 26.00 | 28.00 |
| Length, in | 28.00 | 29.00 | 30.00 | 31.00 | 32.00 | 33.00 |
| Sleeve length | 15.10 | 16.50 | 18.00 | 19.50 | 21.00 | 22.40 |
| Tolerance | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |
| UNISEX HOODIE | ||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Measurements | S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL |
| Width, in | 20.08 | 22.05 | 24.02 | 25.98 | 27.99 | 29.92 |
| Length, in | 27.17 | 27.95 | 29.13 | 29.92 | 31.10 | 31.89 |
| Sleeve length | 33.50 | 34.50 | 35.50 | 36.50 | 37.50 | 38.50 |
| Tolerance | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |
| UNISEX CREWNECK SWEATSHIRT | ||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Measurements | S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL |
| Width, in | 20.00 | 22.01 | 24.00 | 26.00 | 28.00 | 30.00 |
| Length, in | 27.00 | 28.00 | 29.00 | 30.00 | 31.00 | 32.00 |
| Sleeve length | 33.50 | 34.50 | 35.50 | 36.50 | 37.50 | 38.50 |
| Tolerance | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |
| UNISEX JERSEY TANK TOP | |||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Measurements | S | M | L | XL | 2XL |
| Width, in | 18.23 | 20.24 | 22.24 | 24.25 | 26.22 |
| Length, in | 26.97 | 27.99 | 28.98 | 30.00 | 30.98 |
| Arm opening | 10.12 | 10.75 | 11.63 | 12.50 | 13.37 |
| Tolerance | 1.00 | 1.00 | 1.00 | 1.00 | 1.00 |
Embrace Bold Humor and Vintage Vibes with the My Eyes Are Up Up There Retro Distressed T-Shirt

In the world of contemporary fashion, there is a distinct power in a garment that can make someone laugh before they even say hello. The My Eyes Are Up Up There Retro Distressed T-Shirt is a masterclass in this kind of playful, self-aware irony. It takes a classic, somewhat overused defensive phrase and flips it on its head with a double-up emphasis that signals a sharp, witty personality. This design isn’t just about the words; it’s about a specific vibe of confident sarcasm. It appeals to those who don’t take themselves too seriously and enjoy the intersection of 1970s nostalgia and modern comedic timing. The distressed aesthetic suggests a history, giving the wearer the effortless cool of someone who just pulled a rare, hilarious find out of a high-end thrift store. It is more than a simple garment; it is a social icebreaker designed for the bold and the humorous.
Beyond the clever messaging, the physical experience of wearing this tee is prioritized through high-quality construction. We believe that a great joke shouldn’t come at the expense of comfort. That is why this shirt is crafted from a premium cotton and soft blend, ensuring a tactile experience that matches its visual appeal. The fabric is chosen for its breathability and its ability to hold the integrity of the print through countless adventures and laundry cycles. By utilizing a soft blend, we provide a garment that feels lightweight and smooth against the skin, avoiding the stiffness often found in cheaper novelty wear. The material mimics the “broken-in” feel of a true vintage piece, allowing the shirt to drape naturally and comfortably on any body type. It is the kind of reliable staple you reach for when you want to feel relaxed but look intentionally styled.
Why This Design Rocks:
- Authentic Vintage Aesthetic: The weathered, cracked texture of the print provides a genuine throwback feel that perfectly captures the spirit of 70s and 80s nostalgic fashion.
- Sarcastic Graphic Tee Energy: Ideal for individuals who appreciate dry humor, this shirt uses a witty statement to command attention and spark conversations wherever you go.
- A Witty Statement Shirt for Any Occasion: Whether you are heading to a casual brunch, a dive bar, or a music festival, the clever phrasing ensures you stand out with a sense of fun and approachability.
- Versatile Nostalgic Fashion: The color palette and distressed finish make it easy to integrate into a variety of retro-inspired wardrobes without looking like a costume.
Styling Tips:
To truly lean into the retro-cool energy of this piece, try pairing it with high-waisted “mom” jeans or distressed denim shorts for a classic summer look. If you want to elevate the outfit for a night out, layer the shirt under a rugged faux-leather jacket or a corduroy button-down left open. For those who love the grunge-inspired look, tying an oversized plaid flannel around your waist and slipping into some chunky combat boots creates a perfect balance between comfort and edge. Because of its neutral, weathered tones, it also pairs exceptionally well with earthy colors like olive green, mustard yellow, or rust. Whether tucked in for a structured silhouette or worn loose for a boyfriend-fit vibe, this tee adapts to your personal style while keeping the humor front and center.
Ultimately, fashion is a form of self-expression, and what better way to express yourself than with a dash of wit? The My Eyes Are Up Up There Retro Distressed T-Shirt offers the perfect blend of high-quality materials and a timelessly funny concept. It honors the tradition of the graphic tee as a canvas for personality, ensuring that you not only look great in your premium cotton gear but also leave a lasting impression on everyone you meet. Add the My Eyes Are Up Up There Retro Distressed T-Shirt to your collection today and let your wardrobe do the talking.
About The Product
About The Product
The Gildan 5000 heavy cotton tee is a dependable classic made for everyday wear and custom printing. Its 100% cotton fabric is tightly knit to give designs sharper detail and long-lasting color. The seamless body eliminates side seams for a smoother fit.
Key Features
Stabilizes back seams to prevent stretching.
Tubular knit reduces fabric waste & looks better.
Highly elastic collar retains shape without seams.
Solid colors: 100% Cotton. Heathers: Poly blends.
Care Instructions
- Machine wash: Cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Tumble dry: Low heat
- Do not iron; Do not dryclean
Origin & Safety
- Made in Nicaragua
- Meets US/EU safety standards
- Unisex Sizing (Adult)
About The Product
The Gildan Heavy Blend™ hoodie, made from a soft cotton-poly blend, provides warmth and durability. Its unisex fit offers everyday versatility, with ribbed cuffs and hem to keep the shape intact. A large front pocket adds convenience, while the double-lined hood with matching drawcord gives it a clean, cohesive look. Trusted for custom printing and casual wear.
Key Features
Strong, smooth fabric perfect for printing. Heather Sport colors are 40/60 blend.
Adjustable double-lined hood with self-colored woven cord.
Kangaroo pouch pocket always keeps your hands warm.
Knitted in one piece using tubular knit, reducing fabric waste.
Care Instructions
- Machine wash: Cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Tumble dry: Medium heat
- Iron, steam or dry: Low heat
- Do not dryclean
Origin & Compliance
- Made in Bangladesh
- Meets safety requirements (flammability, lead, etc.)
- High quality DTG & DTF printing methods
About The Product
The Gildan 18000 sweatshirt is a unisex heavy blend crewneck made from a 50/50 cotton-polyester fabric, combining softness with lasting durability. Its smooth surface supports crisp, vibrant prints. The ribbed-knit collar and reinforced cuffs help it keep its shape over time. A seamless body design reduces irritation and adds to overall comfort.
– The White color variant may appear off-white due to fabric properties.
– Subtle orange hue shifts with lighting in the Orange color variant.
Key Features
Heavy blend fabric combines softness with durability.
Highly elastic collar helps retain shape, with seam.
Tubular knit reduces fabric waste & makes garment more attractive.
Helps sleeves stay in place and maintain shape.
Care Instructions
- Machine wash: Cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Tumble dry: Low heat
- Do not iron; Do not dryclean
- Bleach as needed (non-chlorine)
Origin & Compliance
- Made in Nicaragua
- Meets safety requirements (flammability, lead, etc.)
- Embroidery & DTG printing friendly
About The Product
This must-have unisex jersey tank top fits like a well-loved favorite. High quality print makes it an ultimate statement shirt for years to come. This item has side seams to provide structural support. All bindings are the same fabric as the rest of the tank. Depending on the color, cotton, polyester, or rayon can appear.
Key Features
Located along the sides, they help hold the garment’s shape longer and give structural support.
Bindings are made from the same fabric as the body of the garment for a polished look.
Solid colors: 100% Cotton. Heathers: 52/48 blend. Tri-blends: 50% Poly, 25% Cotton, 25% Rayon.
Meets flammability requirements. Safe for adults.
- Machine wash: Warm (max 40C or 105F)
- Tumble dry: Medium heat
- Iron, steam or dry: Medium heat
- Do not dryclean
- Made in Nicaragua
- Adult Sizing
- High quality print surface

Reviews
There are no reviews yet.