Size guide
| T-SHIRT UNISEX HEAVY COTTON TEE | ||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Measurements | S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL |
| Width, in | 18.00 | 20.00 | 22.00 | 24.00 | 26.00 | 28.00 |
| Length, in | 28.00 | 29.00 | 30.00 | 31.00 | 32.00 | 33.00 |
| Sleeve length | 15.10 | 16.50 | 18.00 | 19.50 | 21.00 | 22.40 |
| Tolerance | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |
| UNISEX HOODIE | ||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Measurements | S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL |
| Width, in | 20.08 | 22.05 | 24.02 | 25.98 | 27.99 | 29.92 |
| Length, in | 27.17 | 27.95 | 29.13 | 29.92 | 31.10 | 31.89 |
| Sleeve length | 33.50 | 34.50 | 35.50 | 36.50 | 37.50 | 38.50 |
| Tolerance | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |
| UNISEX CREWNECK SWEATSHIRT | ||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Measurements | S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL |
| Width, in | 20.00 | 22.01 | 24.00 | 26.00 | 28.00 | 30.00 |
| Length, in | 27.00 | 28.00 | 29.00 | 30.00 | 31.00 | 32.00 |
| Sleeve length | 33.50 | 34.50 | 35.50 | 36.50 | 37.50 | 38.50 |
| Tolerance | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |
| UNISEX JERSEY TANK TOP | |||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Measurements | S | M | L | XL | 2XL |
| Width, in | 18.23 | 20.24 | 22.24 | 24.25 | 26.22 |
| Length, in | 26.97 | 27.99 | 28.98 | 30.00 | 30.98 |
| Arm opening | 10.12 | 10.75 | 11.63 | 12.50 | 13.37 |
| Tolerance | 1.00 | 1.00 | 1.00 | 1.00 | 1.00 |
Embrace the Dark Humor of Mornings with the Coffee Because Murder Is Wrong Retro Vintage T-Shirt
We’ve all experienced those early hours where the sun is far too bright and the world is far too loud. It is in these moments of vulnerability that we realize our patience is a finite resource, heavily dependent on the presence of a hot beverage. The Coffee Because Murder Is Wrong Retro Vintage T-Shirt is not just a piece of apparel; it is a witty manifesto for the modern individual. By blending dark humor with a relatable struggle, this shirt speaks to the soul of anyone who views their morning brew as a necessary peace treaty with society. This funny novelty tee idea perfectly encapsulates that specific feeling of irony—acknowledging our grouchiest tendencies while maintaining a sense of playfulness. It serves as a lighthearted warning to colleagues, friends, and family that the caffeine must flow before the kindness can begin.
Key Features:
- Crafted from premium cotton for a breathable and luxurious feel against the skin.
- Features a soft blend of high-quality materials to ensure long-lasting comfort and durability.
- Designed with professional-grade printing techniques that keep the vintage aesthetic sharp through every wash.
- Constructed with a classic fit and reinforced stitching, making it a reliable staple for your daily rotation.
The versatility of this retro graphic tee makes it a standout choice for various lifestyle scenarios. Whether you are heading to a casual Friday at the office, meeting friends for a weekend brunch, or simply lounging at home, the shirt provides a perfect balance of personality and ease. It functions as a relatable morning person shirt for those who are actually the complete opposite, acting as a humorous social barrier until the espresso has worked its magic. Beyond its comedic value, we have focused on the tactile experience of the garment. By using a soft blend and premium cotton, the fabric offers a gentle touch that doesn’t irritate, even during a long day of errands. To keep your shirt looking its best, we recommend washing it inside out in cold water and drying it on a low-heat setting. This simple care routine ensures that the fabric remains soft and the sarcastic message remains vibrant for years to come. It is an ideal sarcastic caffeine enthusiast gift for that friend who has a bit of an edge and a deep love for a dark roast.
In conclusion, this garment is a celebration of the cynical yet hilarious side of coffee culture. It bridges the gap between vintage style and contemporary wit, making it a must-have for anyone with a strong sense of humor and a low tolerance for morning chatter. Whether you are treating yourself or searching for the perfect sarcastic caffeine enthusiast gift, the Coffee Because Murder Is Wrong Retro Vintage T-Shirt delivers on both quality and character. It is a comfortable, stylish, and undeniably funny way to navigate the world, one cup at a time, ensuring you stay comfortable while keeping your sense of humor—and your clean record—intact.
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