Size guide
| T-SHIRT UNISEX HEAVY COTTON TEE | ||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Measurements | S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL |
| Width, in | 18.00 | 20.00 | 22.00 | 24.00 | 26.00 | 28.00 |
| Length, in | 28.00 | 29.00 | 30.00 | 31.00 | 32.00 | 33.00 |
| Sleeve length | 15.10 | 16.50 | 18.00 | 19.50 | 21.00 | 22.40 |
| Tolerance | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |
| UNISEX HOODIE | ||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Measurements | S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL |
| Width, in | 20.08 | 22.05 | 24.02 | 25.98 | 27.99 | 29.92 |
| Length, in | 27.17 | 27.95 | 29.13 | 29.92 | 31.10 | 31.89 |
| Sleeve length | 33.50 | 34.50 | 35.50 | 36.50 | 37.50 | 38.50 |
| Tolerance | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |
| UNISEX CREWNECK SWEATSHIRT | ||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Measurements | S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL |
| Width, in | 20.00 | 22.01 | 24.00 | 26.00 | 28.00 | 30.00 |
| Length, in | 27.00 | 28.00 | 29.00 | 30.00 | 31.00 | 32.00 |
| Sleeve length | 33.50 | 34.50 | 35.50 | 36.50 | 37.50 | 38.50 |
| Tolerance | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |
| UNISEX JERSEY TANK TOP | |||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Measurements | S | M | L | XL | 2XL |
| Width, in | 18.23 | 20.24 | 22.24 | 24.25 | 26.22 |
| Length, in | 26.97 | 27.99 | 28.98 | 30.00 | 30.98 |
| Arm opening | 10.12 | 10.75 | 11.63 | 12.50 | 13.37 |
| Tolerance | 1.00 | 1.00 | 1.00 | 1.00 | 1.00 |
Wear Your Resilience with the Certified Crash Test Dummy Distressed Vintage T-Shirt
Life has a funny way of throwing us into the driver’s seat of situations we aren’t always prepared for. Whether you are navigating the chaotic turns of a career, the high-speed impact of a busy social life, or just the literal bumps in the road, the Certified Crash Test Dummy Distressed Vintage T-Shirt serves as a humorous badge of honor. This design taps into a specific type of self-deprecating humor that resonates with anyone who has ever felt like they were the one taking the hits for the team. By embracing the persona of a crash test dummy, you aren’t just wearing a piece of clothing; you are signaling a philosophy of resilience. It is a nod to the idea that no matter how many times we hit the wall, we get back up, dust ourselves off, and prepare for the next round of testing. This shirt captures that gritty, indestructible spirit through a retro aesthetic that feels both nostalgic and timeless.
Key Features:
- Constructed from premium cotton for a breathable, lightweight feel that lasts all day.
- Features a high-quality, crack-resistant print that maintains its vintage look through countless wash cycles.
- Designed with a soft blend of fibers to ensure a comfortable fit that moves with your body.
- A classic unisex cut that provides a relaxed silhouette, perfect for any casual street style look.
The versatility of this apparel makes it a standout piece in any collection of funny graphic tee gear. Because of its distressed finish, it pairs effortlessly with well-worn denim, rugged leather jackets, or even layered under a flannel for a more textured appearance. This isn’t just a novelty item; it is a carefully curated piece of automotive humor that fits perfectly at car meets, weekend hangouts, or casual office days. To keep your garment looking its best, we recommend washing it inside out in cold water. Avoiding high heat in the dryer will help preserve the integrity of the soft blend fabric and ensure the graphic remains a conversation starter for years to come. The distressed elements are intentionally designed to mimic years of wear, giving you that coveted “found in a vintage shop” vibe without the years of searching. It is the ideal choice for those who value character and storytelling in their wardrobe choices.
Ultimately, choosing to wear the Certified Crash Test Dummy Distressed Vintage T-Shirt is about more than just fashion—it is about owning your story. It speaks to the trial-and-error nature of the human experience, wrapped in a package that is as comfortable as it is stylish. Whether you are buying this for yourself as a testament to your own durability or gifting it to a friend who always seems to be in the middle of the action, this shirt delivers a perfect blend of high-quality construction and witty commentary. Stand out from the crowd with a piece that celebrates the bumps, the bruises, and the inevitable triumphs of being a certified survivor of life’s many tests.
Reviews
There are no reviews yet.